Isle of Gog

Got to shake the drips, got to shake the drips
Got to wash my hands, got to wash my hands
Got to dry them right, got to dry them good
It's got to be done, no-one understands

Got to sweep the floor, have to sweep the floor
Got to clean the brush, I must clean the brush
Got to mop the floor, need to mop the floor
Got to rinse the mop, take my time, don't rush

Got to keep house clean, need to keep house clean
Got to vacuum clean, I'll need to rest then
Got to polish wood, coffee table's good
Got to clean it right, count from one to ten

Need to go again, got to go again
Got to shake the drips, Got to squeeze them out
Got to wash my hands, have to wash my hands
The towel's not dry, now I scream and shout

Can't do this no more, got to carry on
Got to see the light, my SAD little light
Got to just sit still, got to be happy
Got to stop crying, got to go tonight

Todays weather on the Isle of Gog is going to be sunny, with a few clouds until 16.15hrs. (approx) when a little rain is expected to fall. Gardeners can get their lawn-mowers out today to cut the grass, and that is especially for Mr. Duncan at No.32, get your grass cut man or I will have to take action myself, as King, and you don't want that to happen, believe me.
The local pub was open a bit later than usual last night, as it was the birthday of Mrs. MacDonald, one of Isle of Gogs oldest islanders ( she's 99 you know, and still got all her own teeth, although there are only a few teeth left) next year I will have to send her a very special message, if she doesn't snuff it between now and then of course. The pub was open until 2.00am this morning, and here on the Isle of Gog, we don't have set hours for the pub to be open, it can open and close when it pleases.
There has been an outbreak of crime here on the Isle of Gog, yes we do get some bad behaviour from some of our islanders. P.C. Murdoch is on the case at this moment in time, and the villain will be caught and flogged. The crime is that he, and it is a he, dropped his empty crisp packet on the street, then when one of our waste disposal attendants gave him a statutory notice, a 25Gogan fine ( the Gogan is tied to the Euro on the worlds money markets) he then threw his copy of the notice onto the ground, there-by being given another notice, which he threw onto the ground once again, before running off, and jumping into a car.
P.C. Murdoch thinks that he may have been picking and eating mushrooms from the Forrest of Gog, they're magic.
That is all for the moment, I wish you all a good day, I being your King Gog of Gog.

I read a lot about how some people are putting a great deal of effort into saving the planet. I think that it is called *Going Green* We here, do have those energy saving light bulbs in the Castle, but once these bulbs stop working, one has to get a specialist disposer of these light bulbs, due to the mercury content in the bulbs. We do not have a specialist on the Isle of Gog, and none of the bulbs have needed to be changed yet, so hopefully the bulbs will last until we get an islander trained in the disposal of these bulbs, or we could just throw them in the sea, if nobody can be bothered to go on a course.
Now saving the planet is all well and good, however there are wars going on all around the planet, people killing people, some young men, and women are blowing themselves up in crowded market places in the middle-east, just because they disagree with the other persons opinion. It is all very playground stuff, all these wars, * He started it* Is one cry you hear often, and you often hear comments like this * We didn't start this war, but we're sure as hell, gonna finish it* This is not good. How can we agree on how to save the planet, when we can't all live on this planet in peace?
This is all wrong people, we only have one Earth, let's not destroy it with war, there is nothing worth dying for. The Earth may be slowly dying, we may be able to slow down the process, but not until we can all live together in peace as one big family-- The Human Race--
Don't hate for hates sake.
Don't kill your brother
The only thing worth destroying is the armaments that are used in war.
The Isle of Gog is a peace loving Island.
As someone once said " GIVE PEACE A CHANCE" 
Yours King Gog of Gog

It is a rather dull, but dry day here on the Isle of Gog, there may be the odd shower later on in the afternoon, and the temperature should be a fairly constant 12 degrees centigrade.
Other news. Mrs. MacDonald has given birth to twins, yet again, 3 sets of twins in the one family, someone needs to tie a knot in it somewhere.
The petrol situation here, on the Isle of Gog, is good, the garage took delivery of a full tanker load this morning, so there is more than enough fuel for all Gog Islanders.
I'd like to ask Farmer Giles to stop spreading muck about first thing in the morning, the air smells foul all day afterwards. We've all got our Farmer Giles to contend with.
Also could that young lad master bates stop making noises in the park bushes, some of our female islanders are getting very worried about master bates, although his tennis serve is improving every week, look out Andy Murray master bates is coming for you.
That is all the news from the Isle of Gog today, I am your King Gog of Gog.

I urge my fellow islanders NOT to panic buy petrol. By all means fill your vehicles up with fuel, but please, DO NOT PANIC. If everyone forms an orderly queue, and nobody tries to "Cut-In" then we can all get our fuel without any PANIC.
So the general message is, by all means put more fuel in your vehicle than you usually do, but don't panic about it. If you feel that you are about to PANIC buy fuel, then grab the nearest paper bag, and breathe in and out, into the brown paper bag. These brown paper bags will be delivered, free of charge, to every household on the Isle of Gog, from you gracious King Gog, I get a lot of post which is delivered in a plain brown paper bag.
So as that corporal Jones of Dads Army used to say "Don't Panic, Don't Panic"
Be good today, and take care, yours as ever
                             

King Gog of Gog

The weekend forecast for the Isle of Gog is as follows
Tomorrow it will be windy and raining, so Mrs Morrison will have to leave her washing until monday, when the weather will be better. Sunday ( The Lords Day) will be sunny with a light gentle breeze, and too good a day to spend it in church, I won't be at this weekends Sunday Service, again, and my Sundays are fully booked up with Kingly duties for the next 50 years, strange, but true. May your God bless and watch over you, and may he help me pick the winner in the big race tomorrow, oh and may he grant Rangers the strength to defeat those marauding hoops of the Celtic hoards.
Goodbye, and do be careful out there, yours King Gog of Gog.

Have you seen our pussy
Our nice little collie too
They drive everyone loopy
With the fighting that they do

Gog has got a new book club
We also have a class in photography
If you know how a digital camera works
Could you please enlighten me

log on log on log on
It's from the Isle of Gog
That I type this blog
Blog on blog on blog on

Come the Summer Solstice
We'll be dancing in the night
We don't get up to no good
Because it will be still quite Light

Last year there was some Hippies
All dressed up, Oh what a sight
One had got her nose pierced
A fat girls dress was too tight

log on log on log on
We'd all just get along
If YOU could sing a song
blog on blog on blog on

This post is protected by the King of Gog's Publican Guards.

We would also like to make it very clear that the Isle of Gog does not welcome visitors, who have no visa.

I have often been amused by some sayings regarding cats & dogs.
At the moment, here on the Isle of Gog, it is *Raining Cats & Dogs*
I was feeling *Dog-Tired* but I had a *Cat-Nap* however I have been *Working Like A Dog* to try and get A bank loan to upgrade my residence I think I've not got * A Cat in hells Chance* of getting one, in fact when I went into my local bank, I said to the clerk " I've come in to see you about a loan" and the clerk replied " Oh good, how much can you give us?" I think the banking sector have made a real *Dogs Dinner* of things lately. Oh well, that's life for you, in fact * It's A Dogs Life* for some. I better go and brush my teeth, before I get accused of having *Dog-Breath*. Be good, King Gog of Gog.

Need A Loan? Can't Get A Loan From Your Bank? Unemployed And Need Some Dosh? Then Why Not Visit Isle of Gog Loans? From £10 to £1 000, With The Best Interest Rates Around That's Isle of Gog Loans !!
Are you over 60 and have no life insurance? Well you better start thinking about it then. You could pop your cork any day now. Come to Isle of Gog assurance services, where we will listen with a sympathetic ear to all you coffin dodgers. Our burial plans can cost as little as £4 per week, and you'll receive a free introductory present of a pen with a little clock in it, that you can show off to your coffin dodging friends. Isle of Gog Assurance Services, we're there, Because we care!
please remember that this is not a cash back policy and if you cancel, you'll get nowt back, and we'll want our pen with a clock in it back, if it's still working.

Isle of Gog- Where Money Matters £$£$

We have had a spell of lovely weather here on the Isle of Gog the past week, however it is forecast to end tomorrow. So my fellow islanders make while the Sun shines, because this is the last sunny day for a few days.
The Isle of Gog Law Enforcement Team [IGLET] have got 2 tourists in the cells. They tried to visit the Isle of Gog without a visitors permit. We try not to shoot/kill any potential visitors these days, it's all to do with Political Correctness, therefore this year, of the 25 intruders to our Isle of Gog, only 15 were shot, and out of that only 10 were killed. I don't know how these people can afford the travel insurance, the insurers have assured us here on the Isle of Gog, that we are on a par with Iraq, for potential tourists, and that they always strongly advise customers not to come here. Very good advice, the Isle of Gog does not like visitors, except those that come here for the seagull shooting events.
I think that I should reveal a bit more about myself, and my family.
I am King Gog of Gog, my beautiful wife is called Queen Gog of Gog, my eldest child, a boy, is called Prince Gog of Gog, and my lovely little darling daughter is called Princess Gog of Gog [my daughter really is my Princess] We have 2 pets, a dog called Pet Dog of Gog, and a cat called Cat. That is my family then.
I have a very busy day ahead. The Royal physician will be attending to my good self, and the bits of my bad self, today due to my current ill health. Then there are fellow islanders who are seeking a meeting with me to discuss island security. I think that some of them are wanting to push for the Isle of Gog to host the small island games. These are a bit like the Olympic games, but only for small islands. I will expand on this in my next posting here. For now I must bid you a fond farewell, and do take care when you are going about your daily business today, slow down, take deep breaths, you will get there in the end, and without stressing yourself too much. Goodbye.